Miss Black America

          If you've ever seen the reality television series "Toddlers and Tiaras" then you truly understand the nightmare that ensues when human beings whom only have a single digit in their age are forced to do log rolls on a runway wearing strands of dental floss. It's always slightly frightening to me when parents force their children to do anything, especially when it's usually used as a tool to boost the ego of the parent. I watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" in complete fascination feeling completely bewildered as to why any sane person would glue false eyelashes to a 4 year old's face. I am not sure if sending out kids in diapers on a fashion crusade is a new venture but certainly as you look at the world of adult pageants things seem less ridiculous and insane; but not by much. I used to watch Ms. America on television in complete disbelief that some one's face could physically freeze itself into a smile for hours on end. It was like watching Barbie come to life yet in a slightly zombie-like state. Listening to the statuesque and busty ladies preach about Christianity and world peace was enough for me to take a sick day at school. However, in my state of bewilderment I have come to find that the world of pageantry is much more what you see on YouTube and Fox News. Recently, I have met a wonderful lady who comes up from this world. Her name is Patriva.

        Patriva is a co-worker of mine, here in Texas, whom I met back in September. From the very beginning I was struck by her radiant smile and incredible confidence. Yet, I always got this sense from her that if she wanted to that she could punch me in the face with a waffle iron. Patriva is from the wonderful land of Virginia conveniently located on the Atlantic side of the United States. She graduated from Virginia Commonwealth University. Patriva is a tall, lean yet muscular, and statuesque woman with ever-changing hair like my good friend Evangeline. Patriva's hair will sometimes be in a lovely circular concoction of fluff which is my favorite. Sometimes it will be braided into neat little rolls or pulled back into a Black girl bun. Patriva's hair makes me miss my own quite frankly. If I had known I had this many options growing up, I would have had my own Black girl bun in high school. I should point out that Patriva has this very odd sense of time. It's like her internal clock is set in one time zone behind. I'm not saying she's always late but I will say that I would imagine that she has never seen the previews at the moves in her life. Patriva has been in Dallas for 3 years after spending some time in California in this wonderful quaint little area called Compton. From the outside looking in, it was clear that Patriva was a lovely and educated person. However, only with further investigation can you truly find out why people become who they are.

         One of the first interesting tidbits about Patriva is that she is a personal trainer. This was no big shocker for me. She truly can kick your ass into next week. However, it also gave me further insight as to why she is so confident. Working out, building muscles, and inspiring others to stay in shape can only help make you feel good about yourself. "I walk like this 'cause I can back it up!". You know what I'm saying? Especially after spending time in Compton you must really know how to handle your own shit! However, it didn't stop there. There was more history yet to be revealed which really educated me as to why I was bestowed with this confident presence each morning I saw Patriva. Frankly, I was a little shocked when I found this out. Patriva is in fact a pageant queen! It all finally made sense! I understood why she struts with her hips two and fro. No wonder she stood with a permanent bevel. (See image below)

         Patriva had performed as a dancer in many pageants in Virginia growing up but had never taken apart in the competition. In college, however, she decided to delve into the world of pageantry as a contestant. She explained that pageants serve as a scholarship fund for the students. They are an opportunity to earn money to go toward your education. Ms. America is actually a scholarship pageant as well! These competitions are no joke! The edited versions that we see on reality television programs compare not to the actual endeavour these young ladies must endure. The competition can last up to a week long with different categories being competed in each day. Of the several tasks each lady must perform they include but are not limited to: talent, swimwear, and interview. Patriva explained that not only did she pass with flying colors but she in fact WON her very first pageant! She then went on to win Miss Black Los Angeles at 23 years old!

          Patriva is obviously an amazing woman. Not only is she beautiful, smart, and talented but she can also cut a ho if necessary. I love the contradictions of the human self. Never would I have guessed that Patriva would have come from the world of pageantry but looking back it all makes sense. Patriva explained that going through the process of rehearsing and competing in pageants really helped shape her as a human being. It is a wonderful confidence booster and helps further affirm yourself as a person. With a strong personality like hers I begin to wonder if I need to enter. I know it will take a lot of diligence and perseverance but ladies and gentlemen you may be looking at Miss Brown Canada 2012! I'm gonna win that ho!